& he'll never know .

he'll never know that every quote every saying every status is about him & only him .
he'll never know that every time i walk into a room he's the first person i look for .
he'll never know that every time we talk he makes my heart beat a little faster .
he'll never know that every time he walks past me in the hallway i hope i crossed his mind .
he'll never know that every time at 11:11 i wished for him .
he'll never know that every time i went on facebook i looked to see if he was online .
he'll never know that every day i hoped it would be the day, it never was .
he'll never know that i am completely impossibly terribly in love with him .

lonely .

today i felt very lonely , even when i was surrounded by people , laughing smiling happy people i felt lonely . sometimes when people are laughing or talking when im around i feel like their laughing at me it makes me feel very self conscious . sometimes i want to turn around and punch them i really hate myself somtimes .

siblings .

i have my fair share of siblings , i have 3 ( older sister , younger sister & younger brother . ) we all have our rolls , my older sis is the super athletic one she goes to a school for her sport , my brother is the baby of the family & he is the only boy which automatically makes him special , my other sister well she is the academic one , always getting good grades , she plays sports too but it's not like she's amazing at them but she's pretty good . now me i am the under acheiver , i don't do very good at school , i don't have many friends , i'm not good at sports , it's not like i don't try i do i really do . i just can't pay attention in class , i get bored and distracted to easily and with sports i practice and practice and practice but i don't really get any better as for the friends thing i'm just kind of weird , i have a weird personality and i like kid movies like aliens in the attic but i also love my sisters keeper i don't like horror movies and i don't like to party . i grew apart from most of my friends and the few that i have left arent my age and don't hang out with each other which is a problem most of the time .

music .

music is one of my passions , i love to sing but i'm not very good , i have attempted to write a song , it's about one of my past relationships , the only thing is that i don't know how to add music to it , i don't know how to play the guitar or piano or anything really wich really sucks , i wanna learn soo bad !

books .

i love to read , i love fiction books . some of my favorites are , the twilight series , summer boys series , inkheart series , vampire academy series , awakening etc . i have been trying to write my own book for a while now , it's about a girl who's parents got divorced and she started to get into trouble ( failing classes , getting in fights , drugs , alcohol ) so her parents decide that the best thing for her would be boarding school so they send her to a boarding school , this girl , brooke , has a completely different style from everyone else at her new school , she likes black and punk and bright colors , the girls at her new school are more of the high heel short skirt cheerleader types and she doesn't really fit in , she gets picked on by the other girls and even some of the boys , she promised her parents that she would be good at her new school , but when one girl goes to far will she fight back and risk getting kicked out of her new school ?